bare naked me

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Mon, 10 Dec 2012 22:52:16 -0500

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Mon, 10 Dec 2012 22:52:05 -0500

Amazingly Boring Rant Part Two

Wed, 03 Aug 2011 00:55:10 -0400

So since yesterday got confusing today I will refer to my three best friends with letters A is the boy B is the “best friend” and C is the one from another town. I love C but I just wish we still talked more. But lately, here is the kicker, B has been talking to C and I am afraid of what is being said. Possibly I am just paranoid and overreacting but I don’t care. In other news B has recently just told me that when our school went on a trip to the metropolitan house that she really hated me and that field trip. Well I have a ton of problems with that statement. Firstly, she keeps saying she wants to run for tri-m president this coming school year. The thing is she hated seeing the opera because she said it is boring. Honey that is the biggest thing we do all year. And now she is doubting music in general. WHY THE HECK DO YOU EVEN CARE ABOUT TRI-M THEN!!!! I mean seriously it is the most frustrating thing ever especially because I really want to run and keep everything the way it has been going. Secondly back to the whole hating the opera trip thing, well I honestly thought it to be really rude to tell me that she really hated me then one because that was my birthday and two because we both started to become friends again. If it was water under the bridge why in the san heck would you tell me that. You don’t see me saying Oh yea I really thought you shouldn’t have been picked as a youthleader because you are a crappy role model. I would never even think of bringing that up, why would it matter we aren’t arguing now. UGH B just irks me sometimes. Thirdly she said she really hated me because I was hanging out with another girl named Courtney that trip. Courtney is another story in herself, pretty much she is just a rough individual. Here is the thing I had become friends with Courtney because she was first and then B wanted me to become friends with Courtney. Like sorry if you don’t like her but I still think she is fun and good company. Maybe I can’t completely trust her but she is fun to be around. I just don’t get it with B. Another thing that bothers me about B, unrelated to the opera trip, is that back when B was friends with courtney, by christmas time. Well Courtney had a christmas party and myself and A went. Now at one point in the night I had sat on A’s lap and we were flirting like we always do because well I am in love with him and we are just that type of friends. Anyways after that B told me that she was so mad at him and thought that was so bad and that he was emotionally abusing me and that she hates him and yadda yadda yadda. Well no less than a week later is she talking to him about his fights with Courtney. SERIOUSLY?!?! Then she has the gall to tell me that A had told her everything about the fights and stuff and UGH!!!!! Pretty much she was just being a nosy bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Like Why would you do that? I really can’t stand her sometimes. Then later in the year she gets diagnosed with depression and whenever I try to cheer her up or when she is cutting try to send her back to class because I know it would be in her best interest she yells at me and then vents on tumblr that no one even cares that she is depressed. WTF girl are you stupid I had been trying to help you the whole time but no you didn’t care. Then today I went through her old tumblr posts and there was one that was like “when you realize you were the only one trying to keep a friendship alive” really really? hmm I don’t seem to recall a time where I gave up on our friendship. All I ever do is worry about you. Your weight and how all you seem to do is eat and get larger and then proceed to ask me why boys don’t like you. I seem to always want to do something with you but you always say you have plans. Every free moment I had I spent trying to see you or to talk to you. Guess who would never answer me or just try to fight with me. I really just hate people sometimes. I hate myself and everything besides my family, god, and my instruments.

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Wed, 03 Aug 2011 00:17:48 -0400

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Tue, 02 Aug 2011 21:37:24 -0400

Tue, 02 Aug 2011 17:00:28 -0400

Hello There

Mon, 01 Aug 2011 23:59:09 -0400

So I know I haven’t been on in ages in tumblr time but I haven’t had the time nor the guts to come on here and admit that I had abandoned my skinny mind thoughts things whatever you want to call it. Well today I came on here to just vent cause I really can’t do it on my personal tumblr because the people that I would like to vent about are following me. So anyways I just returned from a rather boring but well worth the wile trip to florida which none of my 16 yes 16 followers really care about. But now I will really vent my problems…….

So ever since the beginning of this past school year I have been feeling myself slip out of the friendship I have with my best friends. One of them really just got on my nerves this year and I believe she just talks about me to atleast one of my other best friends which is kinda hurtful. I just feel like I can’t trust her or talk to her about anything. Maybe it is just because I did become friends with other people. Maybe it is just the other people I really shouldn’t trust. Whatever. With another best friend I have grown apart from because I really haven’t been a great friend to him. Like a few weeks back I kind of told his gf’s best friend about something and she told the gf. Even though my friend didn’t tell me himself it was kind of something about his “affair.” But in all honesty I am really genuinely sorry for doing that and thankfully he forgave me but I still feel bad about it. But on the good side of things I haven’t told anyone but my other best friend the secrets of his relationship that he has told me. I really just want him to trust me because I sincerely love him and would do anything for him. As much as I say that my one friend is my best it really isn’t true. If I ever really had to rate them it would be Him and my friend from another town then her…..

well I will continue this another day because I have to go watch project runway and hopefully get some thinspo back into me

toodleloo!!! :)

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Thu, 12 May 2011 21:53:47 -0400

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